He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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