Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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