at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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