Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
