I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
