At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
