Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
