cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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