whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
