It's a beautiful day for a hangover
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
