I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
