I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
