shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
