Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
