Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
