so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
