i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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