Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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