So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
