About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
