it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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