I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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