I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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