i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
