hell yes lets make some ravioli
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
