dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
