"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
