She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
