I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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