does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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