Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
