I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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