1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
