He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
