i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
