Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
