literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
