Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
