i just wanna soil my oats bro
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
