I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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