dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
