he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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