Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
