Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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