why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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