when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so let's talk penis.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So. Much. Porn.
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