how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
