How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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