i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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