I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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