Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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