i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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