I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
