Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
